I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
