the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
