How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you will always have a special place in my vag
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
