why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he told me I talked like a deaf person
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
