capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
