...so i touched it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
