i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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