my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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