wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
