Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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