She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
