Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
