I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
