Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
