So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
