how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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