Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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