Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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