sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
tell me about the eggs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize