I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
