Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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