Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
