You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If that was your dad, he is hot
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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