I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
All I want is dick and wine.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
