I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
