Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
