Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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