I think my vagina is haunted
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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