He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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