And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
