I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
