I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
