Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
