Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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