Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
