I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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