Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
