how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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