Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
