Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
God I need to hump something, right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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