I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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