I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Enjoy the penises
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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