i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this will be a night to untag.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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