She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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