I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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