roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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