Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
