is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
