I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
