I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
