Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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