Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just gift wrapped bread.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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