Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
