Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
