sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
