You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
