I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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