The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
