..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
