This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
