Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
