He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
