You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
