I want to make a zoo with you.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
