I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
