Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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