did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
