Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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