Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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