Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
