in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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