I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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