3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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